It's funny how you change.
Before I was ordained, I'd worked for years as a bureaucrat in county government and later for a non-profit corporation, and mostly I worked inside. I ran my desk fairly well and was pretty good at shuffling papers and forms. When I left that work for seminary I attended lectures, read books, wrote papers and shuffled more forms; and I ran my desk so well that I actually bought a used one from the seminary. I brought that desk with me to Good Shepherd, and I still like it, but I think I've lost my touch. Terry or Pam or anyone who cleans the office can tell you that my desk looks like a waste management site -- and I know that my heart's just not in it anymore.
I've been driven inward over the past few months: inward to write papers and forms to document our readiness for recognition as a congregation of the ELCA; to work with our teams on constitution and by-laws and our Recognition Sunday Worship Celebration; to work with the print shop on invitations. But now all that inward stuff is driving me nuts. I used to love that work, and now all I want to do is go outside -- outside to knock on doors, outside for the farmhouse cleanup, outside for a Bible study, outside for midweek or Sunday worship -- outside with you, outside to play.
Sometimes we need to go inward -- to get work done, to search your soul, to find your self, to lick your wounds. Sometimes we go inward to recover; sometimes we go inward to grow up. But you can't live there, you can't grow there. If you stay inside too long you start to die, begin to wilt, like a flower without sunshine. The sunlight we need comes from the son of God; and he's not inside sitting at my desk, he's out there waiting to meet us, to feed us, to share us.
I am so thrilled and proud and pleased with the work we've done together to enter the ELCA -- but all the same, I'll be glad when it's over. People are dying out there because they haven't met you or the Christ you share -- and I can't wait to go back outside with you, to meet them.
Pastor Jim
Do not be amazed; you seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has risen, he is not here...he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him, as he told you.
Mark 16:6-7
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E-mail your comments and questions to Pastor Jim in care of Good Shepherd Lutheran Church at gslc@sirus.com.